◀ BACK

★ The Truth About My PPPD ★

What is PPPD?

PPPD stands for "Persistent Post-Perceptual Dizziness." It's basically the constant feeling of dizziness, spinning, swaying, and/or other involuntary movements that the body is not actually making, but feeling!

While it's been documented since the assumed 1800's, the old definition is now called "Agoraphobia", and has taken on a new meaning since its officiation in 2025! This constant neurological moving sensation is still being researched by the Mayo Clinic as of this blog, but right now it's considered lifelong and tends to be caused by an injury, migraines, anxiety, panic, or any other "alert-inducing" event. After this happens, the brain ends up staying stuck on "alert mode" for a long time, bracing itself for... Basically nothing! Causing the disorientation in those who have it. (Me, in this case.)

My Initial Injury

On or around May 28th 2023, was my High School Graduation Night ceremony hosted at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Immediately upon arrival, I started talking to my friends–one moment, I was looking back to speak to someone, the next? BAM! My right temple straight into a thick metal pole. I was stunned and frankly, even with my high pain tolerance, I've never felt a pounding like that in my skull before. My friends laughed, nobody said anything, we all ended up walking into the park.

The first thing I did when my friends went to go to the restroom was sit down and cry. My jaw hurt, my eyes went fuzzy, the only person who asked if I was okay was a stranger! My biggest mistake was not finding a teacher or going to the park's medic. I had no experience with or knowledge about head injuries at the time, but if I could, I would go back and tell myself to go see a medic.

When I sat down, I called and messaged my mother. I sent her a picture of my crooked jaw, called her crying, and told her I hit my head. She told me nothing other than "Don't fall asleep and you'll be fine." When I asked if I should still get on the rides: "See how you feel. If you feel fine, do it, if you don't, don't." Since my trust in her was absolute at this point in time, after skipping a couple of rollercoasters my friends went on, I decided I felt well enough to go on X2.

I almost frew up,,,

So anyway!

Yeah my ass did NOT FEEL GOOD but I think I was mostly on an adrenaline high of being awake at 3 in the morning, going on rollercoasters, celebrating my High School graduation amongst other things of being 17 years old. Not much happened after the initial injury. I got cold, bought a hoodie. I knew I wanted to sleep on the bus ride back so I bought a Hyena Squishmallow (that I still have to this day!) and absolutely adored him on the way back. We ended up getting back home at around 5-6 AM. I felt fine, so I thought nothing of it. Well, fast forward 5 months later and my entire life fucking changes for the worst!

The Month That Changed My Life

First of all, November was already shit. My family didn't do shit for Halloween, which hurt me since this was the first time we didn't carve pumpkins together. I ended up doing it alone as you saw there. I cried. A lot. I was feeling especially alone at this time since I didn't have any friends, no other family there for me, and I still couldn't land a job or figure out what I wanted to do in life.

And then November 5th happened.