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★ The Truth About My PPPD (Pt. 2) ★

Record-Hunting

During my vestibular exam, my mother translated to me that they couldn't find anything other than a previous ear infection and that my results were normal. I accepted this, though my body still felt wrong. I tried to pinpoint it as anxiety and leave it at that.

2023, 2024, 2025 and Q1 and Q2 of 2026 have passed, and the dizziness has not changed. I was 17 when it started. As of right now, it's lessened thanks to Fluoxetine, but disorientation, memory issues and brain-fog is still present in my everyday life. Since I decided I wanted to get into College this year, I started hunting down my medical records, starting with the vaccines I got as a baby. Most schools require you to have some vaccines to enter, especially if they have dorms! So I emailed the High School for a copy. Luckily I was in the last of the 3-year window, so they mailed them to me no problem. My mother didn't have any records of the vaccines I got, which was why I had to get them through the school.

Eventually it turned into hunting records down for my broken leg, appendecitis, that ER visit I mentioned in part 1 and so on and so forth. One by one, I got them all, despite some claims by my mother that they didn't exist. The only thing I had left to hunt down were medical records from Tijuana. This was a struggle. I asked my mother and she initially said they didn't get any paperwork from the medical center over there, but that she did have the image of the CAT scan buried somewhere.

The College I'm going to has a program for students who need more help, whether they have physical conditions, mental ones, etc. Since my dizziness prohibited me from sitting in chairs, I decided to reach out to the program to see if I could get accepted. I initially got rejected on the basis of not even having a doctor, but I did get to meet the director who was sympathetic for my situation and sent me resources. One of these resources was a monthly free clinic pop-up that was happening close enough to my area. The director told me if I could get the application paper signed by a medical practitioner, I could get in. The bad part is... My mother would've been pissed if she found out I was trying to get into this program! I'm not sure why, but she's always had an aversion of me going to doctors, which makes me fear them myself. But anyway,

I went to the clinic and got her to take me by telling her that the school required a physical exam before entry. I don't regret lying in the slightest. The MD that saw me said he couldn't diagnose me with anything regarding the head injury and dizziness since that would need further testing, but I remembered the director of the program told me they can sign for mental conditions such as depression and anxiety. So, I told the doctor that I had severe anxiety (which was true anyway, just not what I was there for) and he signed the form based on that and gave me Fluoxetine as "treatment". I wasn't even initially interested in taking them, but I decided to the day after just because my anxiety was so debilitating lol.

As of today, that was only 3 months ago! I submitted the signed form, got into the program, and got my accommodations (a standing desk) set up!

Lies

2 weeks ago, my mother went through her old paperwork and gave me medical records for my dog and the visit to the medical center in Tijuana. I was happy to confirm my dog's birthday as the date I thought it was (I wasn't sure what her age was at all) and I put all of the paperwork away to sort through for later. I have a habit of putting papers in one place and then sorting it into a folder when there's enough of it...

I finally got to sorting them on May 6th, 2026. After throwing invalid stuff away, I finally got to all of my medical records I accumulated over the last 5 months. I was so proud of it since I gathered the initial ER documents that diagnosed me with basic dizziness, which was super important for my history.

And then I finally looked at the Tijuana document through Google Lens.

I was diagnosed with probable Persistent Post-Perceptual Dizziness. And my mother lied about it.

I'm assuming she thought it was some basic term for dizziness and since it said "Prognostics: Good" (Which means it would get better with treatment) she probably thought it would just be fine. Well, it wasn't.

For the last 3 years I begged her for physical therapy. She always said "What can they do for you there that you can't do at home?" and our conversations would get nowhere. In the paper with my diagnosis, it says treatments include Calcium and Vestibular Therapy. I didn't get either of those. My mom told me the Calcium was optional so I believed her. She also told me that there was nothing the doctors said that she didn't translate to me. That was a lie. Since I was a minoe at the time, I didn't have the final say with my medical appointments as I do now...

For years, I have lived with depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety and agoraphobia due to this condition. When I first saw it translated through Lens, I cried for 30 minutes straight. My mother asked me what was wrong, I just told her nothing. It's difficult for me to look at her now. I knew she didn't care about me receiving help, but I didn't know she would hide something like this from me.

My mind and life feel so much clearer after seeing that I was right the entire time.

For those who aren't believed, feel unseen or simply ignored, you are not alone. I encourage anyone who thinks something is wrong to seek out help. You deserve to be heard.

I consider myself lucky to have these records. I easily could've gone my entire life thinking that I was purposely causing harm to myself and that I was at fault. I plan to use all of the documents I've gathered for the first time I see a Primary-Care Physician. We're going to have a lot of undocumented injury history to talk about lol.

I don't plan on ever sharing my diagnosis with my mother. I'll mention it out loud when necessary, but if she asks... I don't know what she's talking about. ┐(´∀｀)┌